Does showing love for your people make you a weak leader?

Many leaders fear that if they show love and kindness, they will

Appear like pushovers;

Be soft on standards;

Invite others to take advantage.

However, overwhelmingly the research shows that kindness cannot be mistaken for weakness in leaders.

Kindness produces oxytocin, known as the "love hormone," which enhances social bonding and cooperation. This biological response can lead to more cohesive and effective teams.

A paper published this year in the Journal of Global Health found that kindness in leaders improves well-being at the workplace. This positive environment leads to better job performance. The study looked at 204 employees found a positive relationship between kindness leadership and job performance, mediated by the relationship between supervisors and subordinates.

How can we apply this as leaders in education?

5 Pillars of Showing Leadership Through Love

Recently I spoke with Tim Winter, Superintendent of South Kitsap School District since 2019. One of the things you notice immediately about speaking with Tim is how he exudes care, and how he has a glint in his eye when he talks about how proud he is of his people and community.

Here’s a little about the district and community he’s so passionate about.

South Kitsap School District is a public school district located in Port Orchard, Washington, serving the southern area of Kitsap County.

The district serves Port Orchard, part of Bremerton, and the southern area of Kitsap County, covering 360 square miles, and is the largest employer of Port Orchard. They were voted the 2023 Best Employer in South Kitsap 🎉

• They serve more than 9,000 students, with a teacher-student ratio of about 19-to-1

• About 40% of the students are eligible for free or reduced lunch

• They have 1 main high school (South Kitsap High School), 3 middle schools (Cedar Heights, John Sedgwick, Marcus Whitman), and 10 elementary schools, along with alternative programs including Discovery Alternative High School and Explorer Academy

The SK Way: foundation of being a Best Employer

Tim remains humble in the face of the recognition his district has received as a top employer:

However, once you get him started on their core values and culture that got them there, it’s hard to get him to stop!

According to Tim, “the principles of the SK Way guide our actions and dictate how we approach our work, how we behave, and how we interact with each other.” He breaks the formula down into five components:

1. Love People

For people to feel that they belong, they need to feel respected, trusted and loved.

This approach extends beyond the school walls, where the district aims to be the hub for the entire community. Winter explains, "I really believe the strength of the community is related to the strength of the school district and vice versa."

2. Get Better Every Day

This stems from the fundamental belief that their people have the ability to improve.

We spoke about how this aligns closely with the kaizen movement (popularized by an anecdote about Toyota in Jim Collins’ book, From Good to Great), otherwise known as a method of Continuous Improvement.

Very simply, this involves the familiar PDCA cycle:

Importantly for Tim and South Kitsap, this involves investing in the success of others and celebrating growth and achievement within the district. “We've got to come together to support the success of our community and in turn, the success of our district.”

3. Think Big

Loving on your people doesn’t involve being timid about setting goals. Tim encourages high expectations and a willingness to take risks in his team, always asking “Is this the best way?”

4. Know Your Purpose

Echoing Simon Sinek, Tim found it very important for every single employee at the district to be aware of their purpose.

This is firmly rooted in supporting the kids in the district, from pre-K through graduation and beyond.

Knowing their purpose allows them to walk shoulder to shoulder with students, families, the community and other staff to deliver work that they can be proud of and fully own.

5. Attitude of Gratitude

Tim credits his father as being one of the most influential people in his life, “because he showed me what it means to work hard, have integrity, and connect with people.”

Throughout our conversation, I could feel clearly how grateful he was to be in a position to serve the kids, his community, and his staff.

Key Takeaways

• Creating a Sense of Belonging: The district prioritizes creating an inclusive environment where students, staff, and the community feel they belong, which is crucial to their success.

• Building Schools from the Inside Out: Leadership development is emphasized across all roles, from bus drivers to nutrition services, ensuring everyone sees themselves as an integral part of the district’s success.

• Leadership Philosophy: Tim Winter's approach centers around vulnerability, building trust, direct praise, and effective conflict resolution to foster strong relationships and accountability.

• Continuous Improvement: Importance of daily self-reflection and striving to get better every day, aligning with the district's 'SK way' five core values.

• Mentorship and Development: Personalized approach to developing leaders, focusing on authenticity and building individual potential rather than relying on standardized programs.

Recommended Resources

I asked Tim to share some leadership resources that had influenced him greatly in his journey. Here’s what he shared:

• The Culture Code by Daniel Coyle

• The Advantage by Patrick Lencioni

• Upstream by Dan Heath

• Leadership and Self-deception by The Arbinger Institute

• Dare to Lead by Brene Brown

• Barking to the Choir by Gregory Boyle

• Win Forever by Pete Carroll

Listen to the full episode on Spotify below:

Have a great week ahead,

CT

Whenever you’re ready, here are three ways we can help you:

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